It is not easy being a mum regardless of whether you are a working mum or stay at home mum. The sacrifices made and the love showered on children is simply amazing.
Here are some tips to cope with young children:
Stay True to Yourself
Many of us think that we have to give up own interests and passions once we become a mom. It is important that you find time for what YOU love to do. Writing, reading, exercising – make these a priority and find a way to incorporate those into your routine. Although it is easier said than done, you should at least aim to keep doing what you love, even if you don’t get to do it as often as before. If you take care of your own needs, you will be happier and will function better as a mum.
Ditch the Guilt
Guilt seems to be one of the most common side effects of motherhood. As mothers, we have this tendency that we are not doing enough for our kids. No one is perfect, and you are not expected to be a perfect mom or to never make mistakes. Guilt is unhelpful and a terrible waste of time and energy.
Once you make a decision, whether a major one like going back to work vs staying at home, or a small one like allowing the kids to watch television while you have some time for yourself, try to avoid second-guessing yourself. You are doing the best that you can. As long as you love them and provide their basic needs, your kids will turn out fine.
Listen to your children
REALLY listen. We tend to assume that we know more than our kids do, hence we don’t really bother to listen. In addition, we often act as problem-solvers, offering immediate advice, when all they need is for us to listen to them and be there for them.
It is indeed hard work raising kids. Kids are messy, noisy and incredibly demanding. You will lose your patience once in a while. Try to take a deep breath, count to ten. See them for the small, helpless people that they are.
We all need our quality time. For a working mother, when she is back from work, she has to attend to housework and the needs of the family. It is easy to be irritated or scold the kids when they are misbehaving. For stay home mothers, facing the children all day can also be draining.
Give yourself thirty minutes to an hour a day for some quality time by yourself. It could just be a short walk around the neighbourhood, listen to a music, read a good book to name a few. You can also enforces quiet time, whereby your kid plays in her room independently or reads quietly.
Music is a good form of relaxation whereby the soothing music will calm you. Children love music. They will dance and listen to the beat of music. By starting them young with music, this will improve the vocal and language development.
Music allows student to acquire information naturally. A song gives students the opportunity to reduce the information into parts yet work with it as a whole. Frances H. Rauscher (2003) explored the relationship between spatial/temporal skills and music with high risk pre-schoolers and conducted three studies that examined the effects of music. The children who received music training scored higher on the Wechsler Individual Achievement Test (WIAT) in reading, spelling, reading comprehension, mathematical reasoning, numerical operations and listening tasks.
With music, there is routine and a form of repetition for the children. This can also increase their confidence. Music can also be a form of bonding activity with the family.
Make Friends/ Join Support Group
There are times of isolation, helplessness and loneliness for mothers. Very often, there is a need for adult communication, friendships and acknowledgment. Join parent groups whereby you can share and support one another in the journey of raising children.
Laugh and have Fun
When you are a mum, it is easy to become so absorbed in the logistics of taking care of your kids that you forget to relax and have fun. Kids are fun. They give you a wonderful opportunity to be a child all over again. You get to do things that you never imagined that you would do as an adult (catching bubbles and jumping in puddles) and see the world through their innocent, curious eyes.